Friday, 27 January 2012

The Kitchen Time Conundrum

Now, I'll admit I'm no scientist; in fact the closest I come to Science these days is my passionate watching of The Big Bang Theory (my blog post title was inspired by TBBT episode titling) and Brian Cox programmes.

But, I believe I have identified a new anomaly in the time continuum; ladies and gentlemen - I present to you "Kitchen Time". Time behaves differently in the kitchen, and not just because of my clock which stubbornly remains five minutes slow, despite being reset and fed new batteries on several occasions. No, when you enter the kitchen and begin to cook, Time takes on new and mysteries properties, where twenty minutes can have no impact at all, but one minute can have surprising and devastating effects.

Let me explain further. I have witnessed this phenomen on many an occasion, but it's perhaps most evident in the following examples:

Case study 1: a minute by minute commentary on making toast - white bread, still white bread, still white bread, still white bread, black toast?

Case study 2: the anxious peering through the oven checks when cake-making - not ready, not ready, not ready, not ready, burnt?

How does that happen? I can spend an hour checking every five minutes on something I am cooking, and nothing is happening, yet I turn my back for twenty seconds to answer the phone and my creation magically transforms from raw to burnt.

Well, I'm stumped by this one. Does this only happen to me? Am I the common denominator in the equation? Perhaps it would be best if I stay out of the kitchen. Or at least  stick to using the microwave - it seems to be immune to the Kitchen Time Conundrum!

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