Wednesday, 8 February 2012
The Happily Ever After Hypothesis*
"Happily ever after" never rang true for me. Not that I don't believe in happiness. Just not endings.
My rationale for this? Well, if you are focussed only on one thing and that's your destination, with no flexibility, with nothing else that excites you or intrigues you; what happens when you reach that destination? What then? If getting there was your ultimate goal for your happiness, what now? What comes after your happy ending?
I read in a magazine the other day an article about women and their goals for 2012. One of them said, "I've always been the odd one out, so this year I want to meet the man I'm going to marry. Having a huge wedding will make me so happy." Another talked about how her job was getting her down and how she wouldn't be happy until she had a new one. Yet another talked about how she "can't wait to lose the weight and my new happy life will begin." I totally applaud all these women for having goals, but I wonder if they've considered being happy now, on the way to reaching those goals? I don't want to be someone who says "I will be happy when X happens."
I've always believed that life was about the journey, about the what happens along the way, about the people you meet on the path, not about the destination. I'm not the no57 bus, my destination isn't written all over me. So I don't always know exactly where I'm going. Don't get me wrong - I'm not directionless, I have goals. But sometimes, events and people change how I see things and that means my next step is in a different direction than the one I'd originally anticipated. I get to achieve my goals in a different and perhaps unexpected way. And I learn something. And I keep going. I don't think I'm ever going to be 'at' happiness. I'm creating and choosing it every day, every step I take along that path.
*and yes, that is another TBBT inspired blog post title.